“Birds fly”
“God is dead”
“Be good to others”
“You are an idiot”
And most importantly, “Earth is flat!”
How do you receive various things (words, situations, information, etc) that are thrown at you? Do you accept them to be true? Or do you resist them? How do you feel within yourself?
I actually have developed an interesting formula in this context, but before going to that, let’s look at something really wonderful that gives better clarity about the formula.
Be Skeptical, But Learn To Listen
Some of the best books I have ever read are of Don Miguel Ruiz. If you are really willing to gain mastery over yourself, I would highly recommend reading them. While Four Agreements and Mastery Of Love are his more popular books (and are absolute gems), I actually consider the book Fifth Agreement, co-authored by him and his son, to be in a different league. This book embodies congruence.
The Fifth Agreement is simply this: Be skeptical, but learn to listen. If you have felt: “What, that’s it?!“, I would like to inform you that it took heartbreaking situations, years of exploration, and intense practice for me to arrive at this quality. I wouldn’t say that I am perfect in this quality. Rather, I am a work in progress, and I realize the immensity of this quality. And I can really understand these words of Don Miguel Ruiz in the book, which signify the depth of this simple yet profound quality:
Many years ago, I began teaching some of the concepts in this book to my apprentices, but then I stopped because nobody seemed to understand what I was trying to say. Though I had shared the fifth agreement with my apprentices, I discovered that nobody was ready to learn the teachings that underlie this agreement. Years later, my son, don Jose, started to share same teachings with a group of students, and he succeded where I failed. Maybe the reason don Jose was successful was because he had complete faith in sharing the message. His very presence spoke the truth and challenged the beliefs of the people who attended his classes. He made a huge difference in their lives.
Now let’s delve into my formula!
Do Not Accept An Authority
Here’s the part one of the formula! Many phrases are used to refer to this and I generally call it “not accepting an authority“. This means : don’t see anything as The RIGHT way. Be it scriptures, or parents or favourite heroes & stars, or religion or society or gurus – don’t accept any authority.
“Boys are superior to girls”
“Be a responsible citizen”
“If you go on this pilgrimage, you will go to heaven after death”
“According to the latest science, these chemicals are good for your health”
“You need to be selfish in order to survive in this world”
. . . and many such things you might have heard. Do not accept any authority.
Accept everything
Let’s now go to the second part of the formula! Many phrases are used to refer to this and I generally call it “accepting“. This means : don’t resist anything. Praises, or abuses, or facts, or false information – don’t resist anything. Be in total acceptance.
“Boys are superior to girls”
“Be a responsible citizen”
“If you go on this pilgrimage, you will go to heaven after death”
“According to the latest science, these chemicals are good for your health”
“You need to be selfish in order to survive in this world”
. . . yes the same things again! And yes don’t resist any of them! Just accept!
Intelligence Within
Here’s the final part of the formula. Many phrases are used to refer to this and I generally call it “Intelligence Within“. This means that we all have the intelligence – not the accumulated mind stuff but an intelligence beyond that – that can guide us if we are willing to get in touch with it and pay enough attention. Become one with that.
“Boys are superior to girls”
“Be a responsible citizen”
“If you go on this pilgrimage, you will go to heaven after death”
“According to the latest science, these chemicals are good for your health”
“You need to be selfish in order to survive in this world”
. . . get in touch with your intelligence and make use of the stuff (information, etc) the world is offering you. Let your intelligence guide you.
So here’s the formula that can help you immensely to be a Congruent Leader: